I don't want to be alone
by DarkPheonix 666
Summary: Arthur notices Sakura has been spending a lot of time with America lately. Worried that she may want to break up with him he falls into a depressed state. AsaKiku, Hetero, Fem Japan, fluff, *Oneshot*, feels (for once Canada is noticed)


**England gets jealous of Japan spending so much time with America**

 **but it seems they were both fools**

 **Please review, follow and favourite**

England sat at his desk quietly his eyes filled with pain and sadness. His heart aching with the loneliness, anger and jealousy that were slowly filling him. Why did this have to happen again? Had he not endured enough pain and suffering over his lifetime as a country? Why was it he had to be the one on the receiving end of sadness?

He and Japan had been in a relationship for some time now. The two starting an innocent friendship which had later become one of romantic feelings which ended up with them dating. The two were very happy together. He treated her with nothing but respect as a gentleman should. And she offered nothing but affection and kindness in return to him.

But as of late she had started to avoid him and act all strange. She had been rushing to America for help a lot but when he tried to give her advice she would run away. She was constantly texting America even during meetings. They would spend lunch together and they would never be seen apart. It was honestly really upsetting England to watch.

He knew they were platonically friends and she loved England dearly. But he felt like he was losing her to someone else. That she was hiding something from him and yet making it so blatantly obvious. He had forgotten how painful it was to have your heart broken by someone you thought you could trust with all your heart.

America was a very loved or hated person in terms of other countries. You either liked him or you couldn't stand the guy. There was no in-between when it came to him. Not everyone agreed with his hyperactive and somewhat obnoxious personality, a lot of people tended to avoid him just to get some head space from the guy.

Japan was a very smart woman but she was easily influenced by others. So of course, she would look up to the likes of America and be swayed by his personality. Though he would never admit it out loud, due to his pride. England was in fact a very self-conscious individual, the fact that people never took him seriously didn't help.

People would always forget how awesome he used to be (which was something he and Prussia shared in common). All the things he had achieved in the past and how strong he once was as a nation. Now all they did was mock him and make fun of his current status.

Since that time, he had been alone with no friends and simply his magical companions. But Japan was the first person he met as a nation who sincerely sought friendship with him. She wanted to understand him and learn about his culture. The two already sharing a love of cats and gardening, later falling in love and starting a relationship together.

He didn't want to lose her to the likes of America. It would hurt too much for his ex-ward to not only abandon him for independence, but also steal the woman he loved. It would be too much. How could this be happening a second time all these years later? Why did he have to suffer all because he wanted to be happy with someone else?

He didn't want to feel like this anymore. He didn't want to sit here and watch them together while he was ignored. He just wanted to be alone, he was sick of the torment in front of him. Why did this always happen to him? Why did he even bother opening his heart to anyone? It only ever bit him in the ass in the end. It was truly best to be alone instead.

* * *

England sat quietly in his house sat upon the floor staring into nothingness. Blocking out the sound of the worried magical creatures who remained by his side as he sat in a drunken state. He could still see them looking worried and begging him to snap out of it, but he could no longer hear their voices anymore.

His eyes sore and red from crying, his body now buzzing with booze. He couldn't feel anything anymore, he had cried himself to dehydration instead of wanting to face anyone. He was in too much pain, the fear of losing Japan and the anger of possibly losing her to America of all people. It was just too much for him to handle, his heart was crying out.

He had done nothing but get drunk all week, turning off his phone to avoid anyone and simply drinking. His assistant having to go to meetings and gather information instead. He didn't want to move, he couldn't move. He just wanted to sit here and be alone. His heart too much for him to want to move a muscle. All he could think of was her.

How could he compare with America? The infamous hero? The guy everyone looked up to. The annoyingly childish and yet lovable hero that everyone thought was so bloody cool. What did he have that England didn't? he had once been as wild and crazy as America but nobody remembered that. It was always America this and America that, he was so bloody sick of it.

He was as capable of being as amazing and wonderful as him, but not everyone thought so. "Sakura…" he muttered weakly his tone slurred. He wanted her, he needed her. But he didn't have the strength to face her, not like this. He would look like a bloody fool and would only burst into tears again.

* * *

Japan shifted at her desk quietly as the meeting went on. She hadn't seen England in over a week and she was starting to seriously worry about him. Instead his assistant was coming in his place. When she tried to text or call him he didn't respond. Going to either voicemail or the message not being received. She had no idea of what was going on or what had happened to him.

What was going on with him and why wouldn't he tell her anything? They never kept things from each other and always talked about their problems as a couple. It was eating away at her and she was starting to wonder if he was seriously sick or something. She couldn't help but sense something was horribly wrong.

Even France was visibly worried, the likes of Spain and Prussia having to reassure him. Though the two argued a lot they had known each other since they were very young nations. But England wouldn't answer even him. He had blocked everyone out showing he just wanted to be alone with whatever was hurting him.

"I wonder what happened to Arthur-san. He's never acted like this before" she pondered in an anxious tone. He had always acted so cheerful aside from his stubborn side. He seemed like the kind of guy that even when he felt like shit, he would always find a way out of it. His will being as strong as her own which she admired.

"I thought you guys would have clicked aboot now. England is depressed eh" Canada sighed heavily his tone weary. Even he had seen how upset England had been this past week. America had been dragging Japan everywhere with him and wanting to hang out. England had been pushed aside despite dating the Asian nation like he didn't even matter.

Of course, he would be upset about the situation. His girlfriend was avoiding him and neglecting him of attention for the sake of his brother instead of talking to him. Sometimes his brother could be quite the idiot and never seemed to understand how his actions affected other people. It just showed how he had a lot of growing up to do.

The other nations looked stunned by this and Canada frowned "Your quite clueless eh. America, you forget that Japan is England's lover and you've been hanging out a lot lately" he explained. While it was good to have friends, you had to respect their relationship together as well as your friendship with that said person.

America then looked ashamed as the words of his brother hit him. He hadn't really thought about it like that, he had only been trying to help her with some advice. "Geez man. I had no idea, I was just trying to help Japan out Y'know" he said apologetically. As a hero, he could never abandon a woman when she was in need of help. It went against his code.

She had asked him on advice for presents for England seeing as the two were close. Saying how when they lived together he would have learned something about his culture. He had agreed to help in whatever way he could, while only asking she tell him how it worked out in the end. He did care for England in his own way after all.

Japan's eyes widened and she felt like her heart was being squeezed. She had been hurting England all this time without realizing it? God, she felt like an awful person. She had been pushing him away all this time instead of just talking to him. He cared so much for her and spoiled her with affection as if she was as fragile as glass.

Yet she had been neglecting him so selfishly and leaving him to suffer. How could she have been so thoughtless towards him as a lover. She had been so cruel to him. She then gripped her fists and got up from her chair. She needed to make this right, England had been all alone for the past week hurting. She couldn't avoid him any longer.

The meeting could wait and she had been here all week. Missing a day at work would do her no harm given how studious she was. She needed to see England now and make amends with him. If she didn't, she would be an awful person indeed.

* * *

England sat in his house quietly, his mind a haze. His body slumped against his sofa, fresh tears spilling down his face silently. Instead of feeling numb he now just felt hurt. His eyes red and puffy from the tears spilling down his face. Why did he have to feel like this? Why did he have to open his heart to people only to lose them?

There were empty bottles all over the floor but he just left them be. He didn't care, they helped ease the pain in his heart. Helping him to lose himself and not have to think. He had no energy left, his body dehydrated from crying so much. Hell, he couldn't remember the last time he ate something. But he had no hunger, no thirst, he simply wanted her.

Suddenly his front door slammed open causing an echo to ripple through the house. Not that he cared, it didn't really snap him out of his trance. It was just a sound to him. "ENGLAND-SAN" Japan cried out anxiously. The house smelled musty and there were dark clouds rippling through the sky. Proof of his depressed state circling above them.

When they first started dating England had given her a spare key to get in and out of his house if he was ever away or at work. Thank god, she had it on her at all times, otherwise she would never have been able to see him. She then opened the living room to see him and her eyes widened in awe. What the hell had happened to him? There were empty bottles of beer everywhere, even some whiskey bottles.

Had he been sitting here for the past week getting drunk? But why would he do such a thing? England had never had a very good alcohol tolerance so, why do it? Why would he let himself fall to this level and avoid any of his duties or friends? She didn't understand what was going through his head.

She rushed up to him and gripped his arm tightly, trying to shake him out of his daze. Her expression one of worry and her heart racing in her chest. "England-san. What the hell is going on? Why are you drunk? Where have you been?" she asked anxiously. Just what in the hell was he playing at here?

She could smell the liquor on his breath. He was beyond drunk, this would be a hell of a hangover once it got out of his body. Unless he had been able to create a new tolerance from drinking so much. While it was a possibility it was a very slim one, he was not known for enduring well under the influence.

England's glazed over eyes lightened a little. He knew that voice, it was the voice of his beloved princess. The woman with the silky black hair and amber eyes he had fallen for. He suddenly reached out and pulled Japan into his arms holding her tightly. She still smelled as sweet as he remembered, the scent of cherry blossoms and tea on her skin.

He buried his nose into her hair affectionately breathing in her familiar scent. It had felt like forever since he had been close to her like this, since he had felt her body against his own like this. It caused the tears to well up again to which he began to sob on her shoulder like a child.

"Please…. please don't leave me. I…. I can't bear to…. don't go…don't want to be alone…again" England slurred drunkenly his tone desperate. He needed her by his side, always. He had forgotten how happy he could be with someone by his side. He never thought he would feel that again till he met her. Now he could be possibly losing her to another.

Japan's body stiffened her eyes widened in awe. She couldn't believe what she was hearing. She had no idea England would be so hurt over her avoiding him. She hadn't meant to, it was never her intention. To see him so broken and desperate, sobbing and pleading for her. She felt so awful, why hadn't she just been honest from the very beginning? This was all her fault.

She then wrapped her arms around the Brit holding him close to her. This time she would be honest, she had done enough to hurt him this past week. Now she would make it right. She buried her nose into his shoulder and gripped his clothes tightly "England-san your wrong. I don't want to break up, I never did. This is all my fault, I should have just told you" she confessed gently.

She never should have avoided him or tried to hide anything. It had only caused him pain that she never intended to inflict on him. She should have just come to him in the first place as to avoid any of this happening. God, why did she do it?

* * *

England sat on the sofa a large pint glass of water on the table. He felt like such a fool, why had he not believed in her more? He had been such an asshole to have ever doubted her. Why did he ever assume that Japan was capable of such a thing? She had already proven that she loved him sincerely and was a serial monogamist in relationships.

Japan was sat beside him her head bowed and her hands clenched on her lap. After a few glasses of water and some pain killer, England was semi back to his normal self. "I… I went to America for advice. I know you two used to live together and well… he's the only one who thinks of you in a semi positive light" Japan confessed shyly.

Though a lot of the nations teased him, the only thing more infamous than his Tsundere personality was his perverted nature. So, it was hard to learn about things England would like that weren't pervy. After all, if she said she wanted to surprise England there were a few people that would think she meant in a sexual way. Not that she didn't want to, she just wasn't ready yet.

If she had only been honest about this from the beginning then England wouldn't have been in that state. They should have just discussed it like a couple instead of keeping secrets. Her own insecurities and shyness had ended up being her worst enemy in this situation instead of doing the right thing.

Arthur bowed his head "I apologize love. I was an awful person for ever doubting you. I hope you can accept my sincerest apology" he confessed apologetically. He should have trusted her more, he should have believed in her. Instead he suspected her of leaving him, how could he have thought such things about her?

He had simply sat here and sulked over nothing for a week. He had suspected his girlfriend instead of believing her like a good boyfriend should. They should have just talked it out instead of him acting like a child. God, he felt like such a bloody fool. How could he have acted in such a way?

Sakura shook her head in disagreement "No. We were both in the wrong. I should have just come to you in the first place instead of avoiding you so much" she apologized. Instead of being so secretive and suspicious she should have just asked him instead. In the end her actions had done more harm than good which she felt awful about.

England then looked up at her affectionately and reached out with his hand to caress her cheek. She was as soft as ever and her eyes were so full of love and tenderness. "Will you forgive me love? For acting like the bloody fool I have been?" he asked affectionately. He would do whatever it took to make it up to her, no matter what it was.

Japan then blushed fondly her gaze filled with adoration and happiness "If you can forgive me" she said gently. She had been a big of a fool as he, they were both in the wrong. The two then pulled each other into another hug. This time less desperate and more loving, enjoying the sensation. How they had missed being held by their beloved.

England then hummed fondly "So? What did you need help on? I mean it had to be important to ask America of all people" he asked curiously. Not that he didn't love surprises. He just wanted to know the answer since he had caused such a big deal out of it and ended up making her worry so badly when there was no need.

Japan then remembered what she had been doing all this time. She pulled away and reached into the sleeve of her kimono, good thing she had brought them with her. She then pulled out a bunch of magazines onto the table. They had been heavy to carry but not something that would cause her any pain while doing so.

England stared at them in awe before realizing they were all travel magazines. But not just any, they were all from his country to boot. She had really put thought into this. There were ones on Whitby which inspired the book and films Dracula. London, Leeds, Manchester and York. Some of the most well-known cities in England.

They were all places to go on for a day trip or have a small get away. All places for their next romantic date. Now he understood why she had avoided him, to make it a surprise. He was sincerely touched by all the thought she had put into this. Making him feel worse for ever suspecting her. But now he could at least make it up to her in the best possible way.

He then smiled fondly at Japan "I guess we have a holiday to plan now love" he teased. The two of them sat in a small cottage wrapped up in the sheets together, he couldn't wait. Being alone with her on a romantic holiday with nobody to get between them again, it sounded amazing.


End file.
